Selah

2023
Resin, Charcoal, Sindoor, Cowrie Shells, Feathers, Kina, Jute, Barley, Jobs Tears, Juniper
28x24x17 inches

My friend and mentor Lara (whose body was used in the piece Selah) fainted while making her mold causing it to warp. She had undergone chemotherapy for her metastatic cancer the day before and even though I don’t think this is what caused her to faint, I am sure it did not help. Upon my return to the studio, I started to assess the damaged mold. While doing so I noticed my fingers were beginning to numb. I called Lara and we both gasped when we realized her chemotherapy had been sweat into the silicone mold. I could not work with the mold because it was dangerous and because it was warped. I had to figure out how to salvage the work I had done, I could not put her through that process again, and did not want her generous involvement to go to waste. For the next six months straight I set out to fix her mold trying many different things. My friend was dying and this process forced me to think about this reality every day. I was literally doing surgery on this mold and its casts trying to “fix her.” This was a ritual, a ceremony that had found me when I needed it. As I created her sculpture Lara was sent updates and would always surprise me by sending me scans of her test results showing that where I had made clusters of embedded ceremonial materials (that all of these cultures had in common) was coincidentally where her tumors were or where she had scars from the tubes and ports put into her. We were deeper connected than we had ever been before. I completed this sculpture on May 26, 2023. Lara passed away on May 29, 2023. I am so thankful that she was able to see it finished before her death. Although I am still completely devastated that I lost my friend, I am thankful for the ritual of working on her body and making this sculpture that helped me process this time in my life.

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